So you want to have kids, great! You want to hold them and love them, wonderful! You want to see them grow and discover new things, awesome! You want to go shopping with them???
I have never heard anyone wish for that, and there is a good reason...shopping with children is crazy! In a family with little children, meals are planned to minimize the need to go to the Grocery store multiples times, we also buy things in bulk so they last longer to also avoid going to the Grocery store. And if we can we do not make multiple stops on shopping day, hopefully one store can provide most of what we need.
Due to James' work schedule it is usually up to me to stock the fridge and cupboards with food to fill our bellies. A task that I don't mind since, I like food...I mean who doesn't.
But the art of Grocery shopping with children, has a delicate balance of trying not to sound like the parent who is losing her mind because the kids keep touching everything, or the oblivious one who leaves a disaster behind her in the aisles. So how do you accomplish this task you might ask?
DO NOT TAKE THE KIDS. If you can't do this then the following technique can be deployed.
1. Park near shopping cart stall. Sorry shopping cart attendant but I am not walking my cart ALL the way back to the front of the store after loading my kids and food in the car. So simply park near a cart stall and at least that problem is solved.
2. Depending on how many children you have will dictate how many shopping carts are required.
1 Child - 1 cart
2 Children - baby and toddler (this one can be tricky) baby in baby carrier under 7 months on top of cart toddler holding on to cart or placed in cart #2 - 1 to 2 carts
3 Children - baby, toddler and older child - If you are doing a big shop, this is a two cart process, one for the food and one to hold the kids
4 Children and up - If you can get the older kids to hold on to a younger kid then its 1 cart. If the older kids end up chasing after the younger kids in the store then its a 2 cart process to cage the kids until they can manage on their own.
Anywho...you get the idea
3. Getting into the store: WHY stores put up obstacle courses to get the cart into the store I do not know. I think they secretly watch the poor parents trying to get into the store with the kids for a good laugh (VONS). So here you have three options:
Option #1. Turnstile - never an option when using a cart, however you may have a kid, or two, run to use it, if they get stuck let them figure it out, experience is the best teacher!
Option #2. Cart gate - this one is stupid...it will decapitate anyone or thing sitting on top of the cart, so unless you are on your own (HA) - never recommended for use with children
Option #3. Handicap gate - this could be taken the wrong way, and be easily insulting, but in order to get a baby carrier and any other young humans through the obstacle course intact, go with option #3.
4. So you made it in to the store, you deserve a reward! Oh oops forgot to take the potty training toddler to the bathroom before you left the house? Shopping foul #1. NEVER...I mean ALWAYS take the potty training ones to the bathroom before leaving the house. If you don't the following will happen, how do I know you ask? ...experience.
Little one says "I have to go potty". Great...now you have to navigate BACK through the obstacle course to the front of the store where the bathrooms are. Okay, you take the little one to the bathroom, 10 minutes later the OLDER child needs to go. Back to the front of the store unload all the kids from cart, since there is food in it, don't forget your purse, navigate back through obstacle course and to the bathroom. At this point you should be asking all the little humans if they need to go pee-pee. If you do not...then you will be repeating this process in only a matter of 15 minutes. Or grab a stack of paper towels and make them sit on them in the cart...no that is probably bad advice. SO skip that. ALSO, have all the kids go in the Woman's bathroom in-case they need help. Liam once went into the Men's because he wanted to be a big boy. 10 minutes later I had no idea what was going on. Turns out there was no TP in his stall and no one had gone in or out since Liam went in.
5. On Checking out: So you made it through the store, down every aisle, back and forth across the store one or two more times...just incase. Now you are ready to leave. If the clerk tries to persuade you that the self check out is available and fast...do not, I repeat, DO NOT use self check out with kids and a large load of food. Instead let the clerks scan the food and bag it for you. This will give you 3-5 minutes of time to deal with any kid issues that might have come up while standing in line. Also the kids will be able to help with the unloading process and keep them busy for another few minutes.
The all important question at the end: Do you need any help out today? If you have more than 2 kids with you...the answer is YES! Just think free manual labor for a few minutes...wonderful! This will help you load the kids and muster up the energy you are going to need to do all the unloading when you get home.
Happy Shopping!
